So much has changed and I am sharing how I am now significantly better and hope you can be too.
So much has happened and I am excited to share the improvements in my life. It took time and really the right doctor! My caring pharmacist and team at the Target Pharmacy which then became CVS Pharmacy pulled me aside one day and said you are on way to many drugs. I know it is not really my place but you have to get a new doctor, you are being used as a guinea pig and I am watching your decline and the impact of all the side effects. I shared that I was on the waiting list for the Carolina Headache Institute and one of the top doctors Alan Finkel. My world changed when I started at the Carolina Headache Institute. Dr. Finkel has a personality you either love or don’t but you cannot deny the man is brilliant when it comes to migraine, migraine research, erasing myths and encouraging life. He stopped all of the crazy drugs I was on. He re-diagnosed me and focused on new options. I saw him monthly for a year and a half and now I see him quarterly. I feel like I have gotten my life back. I still have chronic migraine. However, I am taking the very painful once monthly shot of Emgality. It really really works. I still may have low grade migraines when the weather is playing with the barometric pressure. But there are many days I forget about my head totally as I have no pain. I started on two shots of Emgality for a year or so and then was able to reduce to one shot. Thank goodness the company is sponsoring the cost of this drug. I am unsure what will happen if this changes as i understand the cost is exorbitant. However, I now can go out to bars, to workout, to movies, I even took my first three trips in three years. I am no longer trapped in my house hiding from life and others. I flew and was able to utilize my acute medications of Zomig (nasal spray)and narotriptin. Narotriptin is much cheaper and easier to get so I try to use this more. It makes my stomach a total mess. Zomig is significantly limited by insurance but it works very well and very quickly with less side effects.
I remember the first day I took a dog for a morning walk and heard birds chirping and thought something is different. What is wrong with me. I actually stopped on that sidewalk, took a deep breath, my dog turned to see what what wrong and then sat looking at me, I realized in that moment this is what it feels like to be headache free. It had been over three years since I had that experience. I forgot how it feels to not be in pain. Honestly, I am unsure I believed I was going to get here. I don’t even record my daily pain levels anymore as I did for 4 1/2 years. Now I just mark the bad days on my outlook calendar. I still have many low grade migraine days. But I can live at a level 1-5 on a scale of 10. Living daily at a 6-10 is just life altering. It stops you from engaging, from desiring to live and begins a cycle that is very, very difficult to emerge from.
I still suffer from depression. During the holidays it is even worse. I do now require pills to sleep or my head does not shut off. I also take pills for depression starting in November through January to get me through the bad thoughts. I am also an empty nester and a divorcee. My son has now made his own life and is spending holidays with his girlfriends family. That does not help with the depression. Being alone is hard so I am working on how to engage in other groups, volunteering and connections to fill this void.
Life is simple but it is not easy. Migraine is real and so is depression and Chronic pain is no joke no matter the condition that causes it. If you are reading this, I hope you find peace and healing. I hope your pain becomes manageable and most of all I hope you start living your life to the best you can.
I am going to start a new blog E.N.D. (Empty Nester Divorcee). Making a new commitment to document daily and END this chapter as I begin a new one. I hope you will follow me in E.N.D.
Wishing you healing and joy,
~Audra